AWARENESS STRATEGIES TO REDUCE DATE RAPE

Tell People Where You Will Be

Inform a friend, roommate, family member before going on date with details on who you will be meeting, where, and when you plan on returning. If you cannot reach them directly, leave a voice message, e-mail, or note.

Set and Communicate Your Limits Clearly

Sexual limits should be set clearly early in the relationship. Be direct and upfront. If things are progressing too far, you must clearly say "no." Do not talk around it, such as saying "not right now" (maybe later then), or "I'm not sure about this" (all he has to do is convince her), or laughingly say "stop" (he thinks you are just kidding).

Directly say "don't do that," "I am serious," "do not go further." These statements are clear and direct, and do not leave room for interpretation or negotiation.

Meet in a Public Place

The first few dates with someone new should take place in public. Date rapes occur in isolated areas, where calls for help cannot be heard by anyone else. Even close-by areas that conveniently offer privacy for two people should be avoided, such as an upstairs bedroom at a house party or a parked car.

Arrange for Your Own Transportation

Do not rely on your date for transportation to and from the date. Meet him at the arranged location. Carry enough cash to take a cab home.

Trust You Instincts

Pay attention to you gut instincts. If your intuition tells you that "something is not right," it probably is. Get out of the situation immediately. Better to be rude and embarrassed than sexually assaulted.

Beware the Overly Friendly Date

A common characteristic of date rape offenders are that they move too quickly towards intimacy. Victims cite that their dates were overly friendly, came on too strong, and did not recognize subtle cues from the victim to slow down.

Such situations underscore the importance of setting and communicating your limits clearly and directly, as mentioned above. And end the date quickly if he is not respecting your personal boundaries.

End a Date Quickly

Do whatever it takes to get out of the situation. The following are a couple suggestions to gracefully end the date quickly. But do not be tied to these excuses or set ups.

• Make a phone call, or pretend to, and tell your date that you something urgent (home accident, work emergency) has come up and that you have to end the date.
• Privately call a friend to "bump" into you where you are, and act surprised.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

• Books Women's self-defense books. Includes recommended books.
• Videos Women's self-defense DVDs and videos serve as excellent supplemental learning tools. Learn at your own pace in the comfort of your home.
• Training Live women's self-defense training from qualified instructors allows more personalized training, technique correction, and practice with partners.
• Information Additional websites that provide women's self-defense information.
• More Articles Read more women's self-defense articles from our library.